This might be a weird comparison, but the best text to send an ex reminds me a lot of Sasquatch (or Bigfoot as he’s more lovingly called). You know, that big hairy creature of the Pacific Northwest whose existence still remains in doubt even after hundreds of years of sightings and footprint evidence.
There’s a lot of speculation, but still no concrete proof that Bigfoot really does exist. Identifying the best thing to text your ex after a breakup is kind of the same thing. There’s a lot of opinions, but no one is truly sure if such a text really exists.
Here are my thoughts on the matter…
Searching For The Best Text To Send An Ex
If you ask me, there’s no such thing as a “best text to send an ex” (although my decision is still out on Bigfoot). There are wrong texts. There are some really great texts. But there’s no single text you can send to your ex and magically make them fall head over heels in love with you all over again overnight.
There’s no “magic bullet” text. Relationships just don’t work that way.
I’ll admit there are some pretty bad texts out there. You know, the kind of stuff you should never send to your ex after a breakup unless you really want to put the nail in the coffin.
This video does a good job of explaining 3 of these…
If you’ve already sent some of the messages in that video, don’t stress about it too much. What’s done is done. But let’s not make things any worse from this point forward, ok?
Choosing The Right Text For The Right Situation
The best text to send your ex isn’t really a single text at all. It’s a combination of texts (each with a unique purpose) sent out slowly over time.
For example, you need a different text to open the lines of communication with your ex than you do to build intimacy or to plant positive thoughts in your ex’s mind.
Successfully texting your ex back is the result of a series of carefully crafted text messages that comprise a “texting system”, not a one shot deal (like Russian roulette) where you throw out a single text, take your chances, and hope for the best.
What it comes down to is picking the right text for the right situation and then following that text up with equally as effective texts until you wiggle your way back into your ex’s good graces and open him or her to the idea of being with you again.
So which text messages are right for which situations? I’m glad you asked.
Let’s take a look at a few of the scenarios you’ll probably find yourself in as you try to text your ex back into a relationship.
Common Text Message Scenarios And The Types Of Texts You Should Focus On
I’m a big fan of Michael Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back PDF, and one of the big reasons for that is because Michael is a magician when it comes to thumbing out effective texts on your cell phone. Michael Fiore texts cover just about every type of situation you may encounter with your ex.
His program is the instruction manual you’ll want to have if you are thinking about texting your ex back into your life. Let me see if I can combine some of Michael’s knowledge with my own insights to help you out with your ex.
I’ve found the best text to send an ex if you want to open the lines of communication is something that falls into the realm of an “across the bow” text or a “curiosity pivot”.
Michael Fiore talks about these in several of his texting programs, but basically they are a way to validate your ex’s feelings in a positive way that leaves a hook for a response, but doesn’t actually put any pressure on your ex to respond of if he or she doesn’t want to. And they don’t make you appear needy, desperate, or overly devastated by the breakup, even if you are.
This makes them a perfect choice for making that initial contact.
Creating A Positive Vibe
One of the most important things you can do when texting your ex is to keep every text positive. You absolutely must refuse to go negative no matter what. And, yes, that means even if your ex says something that makes steam come out your ears.
Author and relationship coach Michael Fiore says…
“NO MATTER WHAT, you MUST refuse to go negative with your ex over text. If he or she starts a fight over text, REFUSE to continue the conversation in that medium, even if it makes your blood totally BOIL. Call instead. Meet in person if it makes sense, but keep texting as “virgin territory.”
One of the best ways to keep things positive after you’ve opened the lines of communication is to focus on sending best of the relationship texts. These texts focus on positive experiences that remind you of your ex or that you have shared together.
For example, it might be a funny memory. It might be an amazing sexual encounter. Or it could be something difficult the two of you overcame together. Think, fun, bonding, and sexual experiences.
Just remember not to lead with anything sexual too soon. There’s a time for that, but you’ll need to work back to that point in your relationship.
As you work on getting your ex back, a time will come when you need to recreate intimacy. When I talk about intimacy I’m referring to “closeness”, not to being intimate in the bedroom.
You want your ex to yearn for the closeness the two of you once shared. When done correctly this can be very powerful at bringing your ex back to you.
A great intimacy booster text (like the one’s Michael teaches in Text Your Ex Back) are some of the best texts to send an ex when they are going through a tough time and you want to show your support without being physically there.
Letting Your Ex Know You Are Doing Just Fine Without Them
If you’re here reading this then chances are you’re pretty distraught over your breakup. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be looking for a way to get your ex back, right?
But one thing you don’t want to do is let your ex see how broken up you are. You want to exude confidence. You don’t want to appear needy or desperate, and you don’t want to come across as overly eager.
You do, however, want your ex to know that you are valuable, attractive, and capable of being happy and living your life without them.
You become more valuable to your ex when other people also desire you...
This is where a good jealousy text comes into play. These are a little tricky and you need to do them right or they can backfire pretty easily.
But when they are executed to perfection they are one of the most powerful types of texts for making your ex re-think a breakup. Basically they are a subtle way to let your ex know you are ok with the breakup and you are hanging out with other people who find you valuable and attractive.
It’s human nature to find something (or someone) more valuable when there are many other people who also think that something (or someone) is valuable. With a subtle text, you can make your ex feel that tiny tinge of jealousy that will make you appear more attractive and more desirable.
Putting Your Heart Out There
There will also come a time in getting back together with your ex where you will need to just lay your heart on the line and tell your ex how you truly feel.
Michael Fiore describes this scenario like this…
“But sometimes you just have to cut past the bullshit and tell your ex how you really feel. No excuses, no blaming, no fighting, no crap. You just take out your cell phone (and with your thumb shaking and lip quivering) tell your ex THE TRUTH.”
The best thing to text your ex at this time will focus on emotional honesty and can take on many forms. For example, your text might focus on giving your ex a compliment or on what you appreciate about him or her. It might also express what you miss about the relationship or how you feel about your ex in terms of the type of person they are.
Emotional honesty texts can be extremely powerful, but they are not the type of text you want to lead with. Unloading a bunch of emotion on your ex when they aren’t in the frame of mind to hear or accept it will only end up pushing him or her further away.
Where To Learn More
For specific examples of each of these types of texts and how to use them to get the best results possible, I recommend Text Your Ex Back by Michael Fiore. Mike is a master of using technology to improve human connection and just a damn good guy. His stuff rocks!