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Using Texting Technology To Improve Human Connection

Rules For Texting Your Ex Girlfriend Or Ex Boyfriend

After a breakup, you may find yourself realizing just how much you love, miss, appreciate, and respect your ex and how much the relationship truly meant to you.

Those silly fights. The misunderstandings. The insecurities and over reactions. It all seems so trivial when you realize just how much you want your ex back in your life.

You want to get back in touch with your ex, but you aren’t sure how to go about it. Making the initial contact that will hopefully lead to getting back together down the road always seems to be the first major stumbling block.

In my next post, I’ll be giving you some tips on how to start a text conversation with your ex, and I’ll help you slowly open the door to establishing a new, better relationship down the road. But today I want to start by giving you a few rules for texting your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend so you get started on the right foot.

For complete step-by-step instructions (and specific text message examples) that lead you from starting a conversation with your ex to dating and getting back together again, I highly recommend getting a copy of this guide by relationship expert Michael Fiore.

Put your past relationship behind you. It didn’t work. You don’t want it back. It’s time for something fresh.

Ground Rules For Texting Your Ex Girlfriend Or Boyfriend

If you want to make an attempt to text your ex back, then you first need to be aware of a few ground rules that will keep the experience from turning into a total disaster. Here they are in no particular order.

1.) Obey A Period Of No Contact

You’ve probably heard it all before, but the “no contact rule” still applies to texting your ex after a breakup.

You need to let the emotions die down from the breakup before you try to work things out. Waiting at least a month is a good rule of thumb, but you may want to wait even longer if it was a particularly bad breakup or if you text your ex and it’s obvious they are still extremely upset over everything that happened.

2.) Keep Things Positive

This isn’t the time to bring the relationship back up, to start apologizing repeatedly, to ask your ex how they feel about you, to start a fight over text, or do anything else that stinks of negativity. If you want to use texts to get your ex back, then you need to reserve texting for only positive things.

3.) Keep Conversations Short And Always End On A High Note

As you first start to text your ex, you want to make sure you keep the conversations short and always end on a high note. The best time to end the conversation is right after you’ve received a really positive response from your ex.

Resist the urge to carry on the conversation (no matter how bad you want to) until it gets stale and boring. You want to leave your ex thinking and feeling positively about the interaction, so they continue to want more.

Refuse to go negative no matter what, even if your ex says something that makes your blood boil or steam erupt from your ears.

4.) Don’t Put Pressure On Your Ex To Respond

Your text messages shouldn’t put any pressure on your ex to respond. They should be crafted in a way that allows your ex to respond if he or she wants to, but that don’t force the issue.

You don’t want your ex to feel pressured and/or cornered, and you don’t want him or her to dread getting texts from you.

5.) Give Things More Time If You Get No Response Or A Negative Response

It’s ok if you don’t get a response initially, so don’t send text after text asking your ex why he or she didn’t respond. One of the great things about texting is that your text messages can still have a positive effect on your ex even if he or she doesn’t reply back.

If your ex replies with an overwhelmingly negative response such as…

  • “Don’t ever text me again!”
  • “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
  • “Stop texting me. I’m still mad at you!”

Then you’ll need to give things more time. Wait at least another 2 or 3 weeks before you try sending another text and use the text judo techniques Michael Fiore teaches here to turn your ex’s negative emotions into positive ones.

6.) Be Willing To Forgive And “Forget”

In Text Your Ex Back, relationship expert Michael Fiore says…

“Plain and simple, FORGIVENESS IS POWER. As long as you hold a grudge against your ex, you’re giving them power over your life and your emotions. Now, I’m not saying you should forget the words that were flung or the way he or she hurt you. But accept that it happens. We hurt those we care about the most.”

If you aren’t ready and willing to forgive both your ex and yourself for everything that happened in the relationship, then you aren’t ready to begin texting. Holding a grudge against your ex or blaming yourself for everything will only keep you from having the relationship you want.

I put the word “forget” in quotes because I’m not saying that you forget everything (like if your ex cheated on you) and pretend that it never happened, but you have to be willing to accept it and move past it. If you can’t put the past behind you, then you can never move forward and the relationship will never work out long term.

I hope that helps and if you have any questions, let me know here or in the comments below.

See you in the next post,

One Comment

  1. i never found something relating to my suituation my ex broke up with me on text and for no reason at all a week before i took his iphone looked in pictures he had pictures of a naked girl i asked why he had a face not knowing what to say i forgave him but a few days later he texted me on his other cell thinking i did not know it was him i played along all along i knew it was him pretending to be someone else a month went by after our break up he wrote to me asking me if it was true i was back on the site we meet i said no after that i made a few weeks go by and wrote he was so rude telling me not to text him he had someone new it hurted me