How To Get Your Ex Back After He Dumped You
He dumped you! What a jerk, right?
Maybe he gave you a good reason. Maybe he didn’t. But despite all that you find yourself still madly in love with him and you want him back.
Learning how to get your ex back after he dumped you starts by understanding why the breakup occurred in the first place. This may take some time and a little bit of investigative work because the reason he gave you for breaking up may not be the real reason.
However, understand that he broke up with you because something caused his attraction for you to fade. It might have happened slowly over time or it might have happened in one quick instant (like if he caught you cheating on him).
Take a break from your ex and don’t contact him for at least 30 days. Use this time to figure out what went wrong and to get yourself out of the emotionally heightened state that will cause you to say and do the wrong things that will end up pushing your ex boyfriend further away.
Maybe your neediness overwhelmed him. Maybe your own insecurities caused you to over-react to a harmless text from another girl. Maybe he felt like you were trying to change him. Maybe you accidentally disrespected him in the things you said or did.
In What Men Secretly Want, James Bauer discusses how respect is even more important to men than love and how it’s very easy to disrespect a man accidentally in the things you say. This tends to eat at a man slowly over time until the attraction is completely gone (and you probably won’t even know it’s happening).
If you think this might be a problem in your own relationship, I highly recommend watching this video.
The reason for the breakup is very important to understand because if, for example, he broke up with you because he felt like you were overly needy, then you’ll need to show him through your words and actions that you aren’t needy before he’ll want you back.
You also need to understand that romance and logic are like oil and water; they don’t mix. In other words, if you want to get your ex back after he dumped you, then no amount of begging or pleading is going to work. He won’t be interested in your list of 100 reasons why you’re the right girl for him (or why that other girl he’s been seeing is a total b*tch).
Using The Fear Of Loss To Get Him Back
Next, learning how to get your ex back after he dumped you involves making him feel like he could lose you forever. Be confident and know in your heart that you can be ok with or without him in your life. Always remember, you WANT your ex boyfriend back. You don’t NEED your ex boyfriend back.
If you’re still hanging around all the time, calling him, texting him, sleeping with him, being his best buddy when he needs something from you, and dropping everything you’re doing in an attempt to remain close to him, then he has no reason to commit to you again. He can go out and date other women knowing if it doesn’t work out that you’ll be right there waiting for him. You become his lifelong “backup plan”.
He needs to feel like you are moving on without him before he’ll ever want you back.
In the Ex Factor, Brad Browning talks about a psychological factor called the “fear of loss”. This is extremely important anytime you want to get your ex back. Basically it’s human nature to want things that we can’t have and to take things for granted until they are gone.
If you want to get your ex back after he dumped you, then don’t sit around waiting for him. Go out and date some other guys.
You don’t have to get into a serious relationship, but your ex needs to see that you aren’t just moping around your bedroom, dipping pretzels into a big bucket of Nutella, crying your eyes out until it looks like you got hit in the face by a freight train, and watching The Notebook on endless repeat.
Michael Fiore, author of the best-selling program Text Your Ex Back, has always said, “One of the best ways to get a girl interested in you is for other girls to be interested in you and for you to be a guy who’s got an active social life.”
And it works the opposite way as well. One of the best ways to get a guy (including your ex boyfriend) interested in you is for other guys to be interested in you and for you to be a girl who has an active social life.
Check out Mike’s program if you’re interested in learning about some amazing text messages you can send to get your ex back after he dumped you.
One of the worst things you can do is sit around moping, feeling sorry for yourself, blaming yourself for the breakup, and locking yourself in your room praying he will show up outside your window with a guitar in hand as he sings you a romantic love song.
Not only is it not good for your mental and physical health, but it won’t do a darn thing for making your ex boyfriend attracted to you again.
Please let me know if I can help you in any way.
See you in the next post,